Monday, November 23, 2009

HW: 25 story comments

Jakob's Story

Jakob, I liked how your story was very subtle and you didn't spend time talking about the persons clothes and what they have, as most people might be tempted to do. You focused on the actual person and their personality and goals which is a deeper version of cool than how someone looks. You chose to write a story about a very real person who doesn't try to be cool and just knows what he wants in life and tries to get it. This story was written well and gets across a real version of cool, good work.

Rachel's Story

This was an odd version of cool, a cross between the pretty girl and mysterious cowboy type which is a bit odd but makes sense the way you describe it. I would have liked to see you make the character seem cool on her own instead of having everyone else say she's cool and the reader by association thinking she's cool, remember "show don't tell". Besides that, your story was well written and showed an odd way of being cool that we haven't seen much of.

Henry's Story

This story was interesting because it shows the main character as someone who's actually smart, most people see cool as looking good or having a certain personality but most people don't think of intelligence as cool. That being said, I felt as though the beginning of your story was a big list showing just what she wore. This information is useful to characterize her but it's not so important that it should take up the majority of a paragraph. All in all this story was well written and showcases a cool that we don't normally see or recognize which deserves some credit.

Charles's Story

This story was very funny and makes its statement, however I think you spent most of your story explaining the prices of things while you could have spent time expressing Andy's excitement or showing his "swagger" after he buys the shoes and why that makes him cool.

I've noticed in most of the stories I've read that the cool person is usually mysterious, heroic, looks good etc. They fit an archetype for good in most of these stories, they're either the hero, the criminal with a heart of gold, the mystic with knowledge etc. these cool people fulfill roles that we can't fit, we're attracted to these people because we subconsciously want them in our lives. Most of the stories I've read haven't said that cool people had the capacity for evil. No one showed a cool person making fun of someone else or being a bully, this may be because people don't want to admit that bullying is cool or because they personally don't like bullying. However Evil can be seen as cool, Darth Vader from "Start Wars" is seen as cool, he's a badass who has power and attitude and competence. Even though Evil can be cool I haven't seen it expressed in people's stories, which reveals more about what people want other people think about what they think is cool.

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