Saturday, January 23, 2010

HW 36: Cool Paper Draft Comments

Jakob's blog

"We try to be successful but success is defined by the people around us and to be accepted we must conform to the dominant idea of success". This was the idea that I took away from your draft, I think relating the idea of success to the pursuit of "cool" can lead to many interesting ideas. I liked the evidence you used from Matt our readings and the quote from the Genome research Institute, you have all the pieces for a great paper but your thesis is a bit odd since it takes the idea of cool in a different direction (which will make the paper more interesting). Because your thesis is so different you have to keep connecting it to the idea of cool so the reader doesn't get confused, you can do this by explaining the relationship between "cool' and "success". I look forward to reading the finished product and as always I expect interesting thoughts and ideas from you.

Beatrice's blog

"Teens use their "cool" identities to try to control their worlds even though we all ultimately have no control due to our socially constructed cultural maps" This is the way I understand your thesis. I like the way you connected our study of cool to a deeper psychological level. The way you can make your paper better is to add bulk and evidence to it, Matt's lecture should be very useful for this idea. You can also connect your idea to the ones we've discussed in class, for example (since you're going the psychological route anyways) you can connect this idea of feeling control to value, are they connected? do they both come from being/acting cool?. You can also connect this to the "cool pose", all "cool poses" no matter what time period or culture you look at evokes a sense of control, examine the relationship there. You have a good start but I'd like to see you expand these ideas further and connect them to the ideas we've talked about in class or expand on them with more outside sources.

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